Voldemort Speaks

The Rude Pundit on Cheney's spew this past weekend.

1. So it was that former Vice President Dick Cheney slithered from the vat of feces and baby tears in which he is kept preserved to heave himself into the studios of Fox "news" yesterday and speak, sputum spouting from his mouth hole, to Mike Wallace's product of a broken condom, Chris. Cheney was in full snarl, rasping about the damage done to American security by NSA leaker Edward Snowden, who, it seems, Cheney wishes to snatch with his claw-tipped tentacles and pull him into an embrace so that the acid slime that coats Cheney can dissolve Snowden into an easily digestible liquid he can absorb through his skin.
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4. No? You don't get it? 9/11, motherfuckers: "We made the decision based on 9/11 that we no longer had a law enforcement problem, we are at war." And thus the worst decision in modern American foreign policy history since "Yeah, fuck those North Vietnamese" was made.
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6. And on and on and on Cheney went, his vile new hog's heart was pumping away. Benghazi is a "cover-up." Obama blows turtles. The IRS thing is the worstest abuse of power ever. Wallace lapped it all up like cum gobbler in the center of a circle jerk. Fuck, Wallace even let Cheney get away with talking about weapons of mass destruction. How can you do that? How can you hear Dick Cheney use those words and not fall on the floor, pissing yourself from laughing so hard?

Cheney needs to realize two things - one, nobody gives a shit what he or any other neocon warmonger says any more, and two, there's no statute of limitations on war crimes and treason and it would be in his own best interests to keep his yap shut. Hell, even dumbass Dubya knows to do that after fuckin' the nation up so thoroughly.

With One Speech, Jeb Bush Just Destroyed Any Chance He Had at the GOP Nomination in 2016

There is a God! Manny Schewitz.

It’s quite obvious that the Bush penchant for gaffes isn’t confined to George W. Bush. In his remarks at the annual “Faith and Freedom” conference in Washington this past week, Jeb Bush stated that immigrants were “more fertile, and they love families, and they have more intact families, and they bring a younger population” as part of his argument for immigration reform. It was a relatively humorous remark to refer to immigrants as “more fertile,” but I don’t believe his true intention was comedic relief.

The "Faith and Freedom" bunch is more commonly referred to as the "tinfoil hat hater brigade".

And while Jeb (who actually has the IQ that his brother missed out on) is correct in his overall message, he just killed any chance of winning any GOP primaries in 2016 if he were to actually run. You see, this is a common sense and moderate approach to solving both our financial and immigration issues — and having common sense and being moderate just doesn’t resonate with the hardcore GOP voters who turn out for primaries.

The primary voters in 2012 were an illustration of how rabidly intolerant and out of touch the current GOP base is. In the 2012 debates, they cheered at the hypothetical death of someone without health insurance, got positively giddy at the thought of a war with Iran and even booed a gay soldier. There’s just no way that Jeb can win when the base is chock full o’ nuts like this.

This is a dwindling, hateful base that will be almost completely gone in the next couple of decades, thanks to old age. Hispanics have a lot in common with moderate Republican policies, but in every single election since they’ve become a voting block to be reckoned with, they solidly side with Democrats. Governor Bush knows all of this and his message is an attempt to take the GOP appeal beyond the retirement communities and gun shows, and to the expanding demographic which will dominate. He’s a lot like Jon Huntsman in the sense that he’s got some common sense which he isn’t afraid to display on certain issues — and we all saw how that worked out for Huntsman in his quest for the GOP nomination.
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Unlike his bumbling brother, Jeb knows how to actually run a state, and possibly all 50 of them as president. Do I want him to? No, not really — but he wouldn’t be the worst possible outcome if the GOP somehow did pull out a win in 2016 (perish the thought). I’m not a fan of Jeb Bush, but I will give credit where credit is due. He’s not a hateful xenophobe and he’s pragmatic enough to understand that immigrants have always been the lifeblood of this country — and that is why he’ll never get the GOP nomination.

The real reason he will never be POTUS is because Dim Son turned the Bush name to shit-filled pig-waller mud.

Besides, as Barbara Bush so eloquently put when discussing Jeb’s future, “There are other people out there that are very qualified, and we’ve had enough Bushes.”

I can’t say I disagree with that one bit.

Battleax Babs knows what Dubya did. So do they all. Good.

Republican Jesus™

A "recommended fun read" at Addicting Info.

Or “How I Learned to Stop Thinking for Myself and Just Trust Republican Jesus.”
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Who the hell is Republican Jesus™?

Republican Jesus™ is very different than the Jesus you and I are familiar with. First off, he is White. Not just white, but White. Republican Jesus™ has a special place in his heart for America. Specifically, White America. Do you doubt this? Ask yourself why anyone who believes in a colorblind Jesus would even conceive of praying for the death of Obama? No, only those who follow Republican Jesus™ would even think that such a prayer could, or should, be answered. If you are currently thinking that racism has nothing to do with the unprecedented hatred of Obama, go away, I’m talking to the grownups.

Nope, no brownskinned liberal hippie desert Jew for them good Aryan types, nosiree!

Republican Jesus™, by the way, is a big supporter of the Confederacy. Why he let them lose the War of Northern Aggression is a mystery. But all “real” Americans know that the South will rise again and Republican Jesus™ will lead the way back to glory. Or something like that. How the Northern and Mid-western Red states fit into this Southern revival is also a mystery.

No mystery. The "New South" can be anywhere the cancer of ignorance and fear has spread.

Republican Jesus™ loves guns. Loves them! Never mind all that silly talk of beating swords into plowshares! Every good member of the church of Republican Jesus™ should have, at minimum, enough armament to hold off an invasion by those commie Nazi liberal hordes that are coming any day now. Or the ATF, whichever shows up first. Or maybe just enough to wipe out a schoolroom filled with kids when their excellent parenting skills manifest themselves in the next Columbine tragedy.
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Republican Jesus™ hates the poor. This is the flip side of “prosperity theology”. If God rewards the faithful with riches, than the poor are obviously NOT of the faith and deserve what they get. This is, in part, why conservatives hate the social safety nets of welfare, food stamps and Medicaid. Those (and by “those” I mean those) people don’t worship Republican Jesus™ and are unworthy of being helped. Besides if you feed them, they’ll just breed!
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Republican Jesus™ hates Muslims. Muslims are scary because some of them do bad things to innocent people. That makes them all evil terrorists. This is not to be confused with White Christian Militia types who blow up abortion clinics or plot political assassinations in Republican Jesus’™ name. Those people are martyrs and heroes. Or they were crazy lone wolves having nothing to do with Republican Jesus™. It depends on which channel you’re interviewing on, Fox or MSNBC.

Republican Jesus™ totally hates Liberals. Liberals are the pawns of Satan George Soros trying to destroy the greatest country ever made on this 6000 year old planet (conservative moderates are almost as bad and must be expunged!). Compromising with a Liberal is a terrible sin in the eyes of Republican Jesus™ and must not be tolerated.

Yeah, it's pretty hard to compromise with somebody who's laughing their ass off at you. Or maybe it's the tinfoil hat.

Also hard to compromise with somebody who thinks you're the ruination of civilization in the flesh. Either way.

Much more.

Oh. the irony...

Ironic Times

MODERATE WINS IN IRAN
Many scheduled to have their hands chopped off due to traffic violations will now only lose three fingers.

Hey, they can still pick their nose!

“Tweet” Added to Oxford English Dictionary
Dropped: “wit”, “thoughtfulness”, “depth”, “understanding” and hundreds of other archaic words.

Eight 3,000-Year-Old Boats Discovered in England, One Still Floats
They've been sold to Carnival Cruise Line.

Heh.

Majority Doesn't Mind Being Spied Upon
Or mentally undressed for that matter.

Hmmmm. That may explain all the folks retching at the supermarket when I stroll by...

Palin Returns to Fox News
Swallows return to Capistrano.

Eaves full of las golondrinas crapping all over everything from their little mud nests are infinitely preferable to Turdette Of The Tundra crapping all over everything every time she opens her mouth.

Saturday Emmylou Blogging

I've put up clips from this show before, but this is her whole set!

Published on Jun 8, 2013
Innovative country legend Emmylou Harris and The Hot Band perform in a special concert recorded for the Old Grey Whistle Test in 1977. The set includes Luxury Liner and Tulsa Queen as well as other old favorites.

Thanks to Alfa Romeo.

U.S. to keep military forces in Jordan

Raw Story

The United States will keep F-16 fighter jets and Patriot anti-missile weapons in Jordan after a joint military exercise ends this month, a US defense official said Thursday.

The US administration, which is weighing a decision to arm rebels fighting in neighboring Syria’s civil war, also planned to keep a unit of US Marines on amphibious ships off the coast after consultations with Jordanian leaders, the official told AFP on condition of anonymity.

The warplanes, anti-missile systems and warships had been sent to Jordan for a major exercise, dubbed Eager Lion, but officials decided to keep the troops and weapons in place on the request of Jordan, which is anxious about a spillover of violence and a growing influx of refugees from the conflict.
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The 26th Marine Expeditionary Unit (website) taking part in the drill consists of about 2,400 troops, which arrived in a group of three amphibious ships, including the USS Kearsarge.

AKA "USS Queerbarge".

I'm down with this. King Abdullah is our only Arab friend in the Middle East. Jordan is small and not particularly wealthy, and with all the Syrian refugees and being next to Israel, he's between a rock and a hard place. He and Jordan are worth helping.

Headline of the Day

Reps. King, Bachmann and Gohmert beg Glenn Beck’s viewers for support: We’re losing badly

This makes for a complicated visual - the moonbats di tutti moonbats circling the wagons to make a better firing squad. Heh.

“Who would be better than Darrell Issa at picking and choosing what to release?"

Backstory here:

Still Grasping At ‘Conspiracy,’ Darrell Issa Refuses To Release IRS Investigation Transcripts

Shorter: they didn't come out in accordance with Issa's predetermined desired result, i.e. Obama didn't do it.

Political Carnival applies this to Issa's own bio. Selectively redacted which makes him look good followed by unredacted which most decidedly does not. Heh. Funny. Go see.

Liar, failed soldier, car thief, and arsonist, all steps on his career path to congressman.

Note to the folks in California's 49th congressional district: you got what you deserve. I hope you choke on it.

"Deny, Deny Until All the Veterans Die"

Pentagon Investigation into Agent Orange on Okinawa

Indeed, Tokyo has made no comment on the investigation, nor has it publicly questioned its findings. But it might soon regret such acquiescence. In April, it was announced that over the coming years, some of the U.S. bases at the centre of Agent Orange allegations would be returned to civilian control. These installations include Futenma Air Station and Makiminato Service Area in Urasoe City, where veterans claim the military maintained its primary stockpile of Agent Orange during the Vietnam War.

If the Pentagon conducted environmental tests on these installations and the results revealed Agent Orange dioxins, U.S. service members currently stationed there would undoubtedly demand remediation. Washington is particularly sensitive to pollution worries among its own troops in the wake of recent revelations regarding drinking water contamination at Camp Lejeune in North Carolina which exposed as many as 750,000 service members and their families to harmful substances. In 2012, Congress was forced to pass an act in an attempt to resolve the problem.

However if the Pentagon can delay environmental tests on its Okinawa bases until the land reverts to civilian control - currently scheduled to occur after 2022 - it will be able to shift the cost of clean-up onto the shoulders of Japanese tax-payers. Under the Japan-U.S. Status of Forces Agreement (SOFA), Washington is absolved from all responsibility to restore military land formerly under its control to safe environmental levels.

I'm involved in the Camp Lejeune Historic Drinking Water deal. I was there in '65-'66. The actual sites for it come up "invalid certificate" but that link's pretty good. It's on Facebook too.

As serious a problem as that is to some veterans and their families, it pales in comparison to the number of people exposed to Agent Orange during and after the Vietnam War.

Given these figures - in addition to the compensation for which exposed veterans would be liable - the Pentagon’s need to maintain its denials is perhaps understandable. Herb Worthington, head of the Agent Orange and Other Toxic Substances Committee of the Vietnam Veterans of America, is only too familiar with such a stance. His organization led the campaign to secure assistance for U.S. veterans exposed to Agent Orange in Vietnam - a struggle which finally convinced Washington to compensate sick service members starting in 1991.

“Eventually, I am sure that Okinawa will be proven to have used or stored Agent Orange. But by the time it is admitted, most of the outspoken Veterans will have passed away. The mantra of our government agencies is ‘Deny, deny, deny.’”
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Locations where the Pentagon admits the usage of Agent Orange: Cambodia, Canada, Korea, Laos, Puerto Rico, Thailand, U.S.A. and Vietnam.

Places where U.S. veterans and local residents claim Agent Orange usage - but the Pentagon denies allegations: Guam, Johnston Island, mainland Japan, Okinawa, Panama, Philippines and Saipan.

As usual, the military is doing the please-let-it-go-away-until-it's-not-our-fault-any-more-and-they're-all-dead dance. Also as usual, they'll probably get away with it.

Jesus loves your downward dog

If it's Wednesday it must be Morford on yoga and some facts and bullshit going on about it. You should read this.

Shhh. Secret Hindu indoctrination ritual.

Yoga is a religion the way breathing is wine. Yoga is a religion the way air is music. Yoga is a religion in a way too few westerners are trained to understand, particularly the right-wing variety, particularly the right-wing pseudo-Christian lawyerly types of America, scowling and confused and ever-furious at the world. As you would expect.
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It would appear the NCLP is suing, on behalf of some very uptight SoCal parents, the Encinitas Union School District over a pilot program that teaches some playful yoga basics – stretching, breathing, a little calming meditation – to children a couple times a week. The horror.

Their claim? Yoga is rooted in the Hindu “religion,” and therefore serves as an indoctrination into that belief, much in the same way techno music and giant mimosas “indoctrinate” kids into homosexuality. The NCLP claims that rules separating church and state demand these children stop that happy, self-empowerment bull-crap right this minute, and get back to fearing an angry, all-American God, or no one gets dessert.
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To religious fundamentalists, this is yoga’s most dangerous, un-Christian, sacrilegious teaching of all: That you are not innately broken, or flawed, or sinful. That there really is no god to worship but the one already present in you, waiting to be expanded. That you are already the divine light you seek. Therefore, you need not attend any church, send cash to any gloomy priest, beat yourself into bloody redemption, or believe what your parents or politicians tell you about heaven or hell, sin or fear, guilt or shame or gay people or women or nature or time or foreigners or politics or sex. You need only wake up to your own innate divinity, every moment, every breath, every touch and taste and step, before it’s too late. See? No wonder they’re terrified
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So yoga is a religion, but it is no religion at all. Yoga is a divine reconnection and means to expand the soul via all sorts of powerful tools, techniques, icons, sutras, tantras, musings, offerings, chantings, stretchings, sweatings, classic moral precepts and healthy lifestyle adjustments, but without organized religion’s nasty knife drawer of shame and guilt, sin and fear, numbed-out heaven and childish threats of eternal, all-consuming hell.

Can you imagine teaching such a thing to children? “Indoctrinating” them into such a belief? Can you imagine how happy and balanced, powerful and calm, strong and spiritually self-defined they might become? What a terrible world that would be.

Don't get your knickers in a twist, young Mark. It's simply a fearful form of made-up mumbo-jumbo going after a not-fearful one that may actually be spiritual. Religionists don't understand spirituality and it scares the shit out of 'em to think kids might actually learn another point of view. That's not what school is for. Is it?

Light blogging today

I gotta work on my veterinarian's kids' go-kart. I picked it up in March and she said she'd like to have it back about mid-June, so it's time. It's been riding around in my pickup since then. At least it's been outta the weather. The thing sat outside so long there's water in the tires fer chrissake. I took off the oil filler cap and clear water spilled out! The gas is so rotten I wouldn't clean your paintbrush with it! 3hp B&S. With forty years as a motorcycle mechanic under my belt I'm pretty sure I can make it run, but I won't guarantee how long it'll run. Rust never sleeps. See yas.